Trust...it's big...yet it's small. Trust is being a baby and knowing mommy will hold you when you're tired. Trust is in the child's eyes that expects their parent to walk them across the street safely. It's in their expectation that the teacher will have the right answer in class. It is NOT simply about romantic relationships. It's about relationships, period. Trust is knowing that someone will be what they say...at all times. Holding someone to their displayed character and being at peace with who they are.
A mom says, "Baby...I'll pick you up at 3pm." The child waits for mom to return...to no avail. Mom got sidetracked...not meaning to be late. Once, maybe...the child may forget. But, repeated offenses will send the child into anxiety. From that point forward, being dropped off will become traumatic. Trust lost...issues found.
When a person has given their trust over to someone, who ultimately proves to be untrustworthy...it brings about trauma. The idea of being "left out front" waiting for someone to pick you up...to keep their word...is enough to induce fits of fear. Those broken promises become the trigger. Hearing someone say, "I won't hurt you" or "I'll never leave you" or anything remotely close to that can and will bring about sensations of worry that can make someone want to escape. To shut down and become unreachable. The idea of the broken trust being founded in lapse of judgment or an err in decision is lost on the victim of the betrayal. All the victim can do is think of the feelings...abandonment, loneliness, betrayal, fear...and become hardened to words.
How can trust be restored? Is it something like when a mom plays peekaboo with her baby? Making it safe for the child to close his or hers eyes, knowing that when they reopen them...mom will be there. That first lesson in trust...telling the baby from the next room, "Mommy's right here"...so they'll know that mom's love is never too far. Does a person who has royally screwed up have to shout from where they are..."I'm here!"? Soothing and relaxing their loved one into a trustful game of peekaboo. Helping them become reacquainted with knowing that the person they love is who they say. Where they're supposed to be. What they claim to be.
Makes it all the more important to for a person to be WORTHY of the trust before the trust is given.
**found this in the drafts and decided to publish**
I'm a lover AND a fighter...I like the folks most don't. I walk to the beat of a drummer....who isn't REALLY in the band, but got the best beats. I am big on love..."I see you" where you're at...hopefully this blog helps you to see me, as well. Either Love me...or leave me alone!
Having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. - a quote by Dinah Craik