2~ Thus Far...

Best Love...what they meant/mean to you...

Well, this is what had happened right? I don't even know why I asked this question because truthfully, I'm not quite sure I've met my best love. (Goes to show you I wasn't thinking of self when composing this challenge)

I will say this ex of 8 1/2yrs, the one with whom I had a tumultuous and abusive relationship with was my best thus far...and I'll tell you why. (of course I will, lol)

What I know about dude, is that he was an addict. Having a father who was an addict taught me the basics of the disease. When dude was sober, he was a wonderful friend and companion. He changed drastically the moment he was using.

As a sober man, he was loving, tender, respectful, protective, funny and endearing. He was a functioning addict, so he still managed to get up every day for work and provide. He was never selfish with his money or his time. We often had some of the best times cruising in the car up Boston Road from Bronx until we hit Port Chester. He'd point out all of the massive mansions and we'd end the trip with chili dogs from a hole-in-the-wall joint. We were movie buffs, music connoisseurs and had a knack for reading each other's minds...especially where private jokes were involved.

He worked and I stayed a "housewife".  In spite of this...he made no qualms about doing the shopping, the laundry and sometimes...the cooking. He taught me a LOT. Deep esoteric, abstract, out of the deepest dimensions of the universe type knowledge and ideas. My brain never rested...challenges on a daily basis. We'd do book reports. He introduced the book "Superman to Man" and Assata Shakur's autobiography to me.

When it was was great. When it was was fucked up...but, I learned. I learned what he meant to teach me and what he didn't mean to teach me. I learned how to lean on my faith and how to understand the difference between loving someone and holding on for the fears that sit in wait.

If there's a "best"...he was it. He set the standard for what I do and DON'T want...and that's a hell of a blueprint to work off of. I've since forgiven him for the things he put me through because I understand addiction and it's workings. I saw the love in his eyes when he was lucid and the hate for himself, when he wasn't. It was never about me...and THAT is a hell of a lesson to obtain. Realizing when someone is mistreating you that it's not always YOU their mistreating, but the fears and ideas that hold them hostage. Thank you, my taught me well.

~waving at my friend~

7 scopers scoping:

The God'ess said...

It's a poor person that learns nothing through easy walks and/or adversity. Good job Sis.


i couldnt even answer that question sis...bravo to you

Thee_Kween said...

God'ess~ Thank you sis...I try to learn something new everyday...

Budda~ It was a hard question to answer...which is why it's "thus far" LOL

Humble BE said...

This is one tough challenge and I'm proud of you for it. The people participating will definitely be challenged in a very deep meaningful way. Loving it!

Thee_Kween said...

I am hopeful that everyone participating will learn a lot...I only wish you'd give it a try. * whimpering*

No Labels said...

I can relate to this in the sense of "when it's good, it's good; but when it's bad; oh, is it bad!"

Very brave write.

P.S. I have taken on the challenge; the journey is definitely going to be interesting.

Thee_Kween said...

I have GOT to head over to your blog and read (as well as add you to my "challengers" list) Can't WAIT to read yours!

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