See, ANOTHER damn instance of me creating questions without myself in mind. SHIT.
I've been in a couple significant relationships in my life...guys I can say I was in love with and felt we'd be together forever. One relationship spanning almost the entirety of my 20's...but, never a truly "romantic" date was experienced.
Let me just say, I think that a romantic date doesn't HAVE to have candles, dinner, music, walks on the beach, etc. Romance is not the event...it's the INTENT. It's, "Baby, I made you dinner...it burned a little...but I made it for you and bought your favorite wine and sorbet...". Romance is the result of having listened to your mate and showing them that you're listening. It's not a plot to get out of something you've done wrong. It's not an attempt to keep them from "bitching". It's not a once-a-year commercially induced ploy to get some extra nookie. It's reminding them that they mean the world to you by giving them something that is private, intimate, and personalized.
I've never been to an exclusively romantic dinner...
I've never had someone just pop up and surprise me with a favorite thing...
The one time I DID receive roses...it was because he'd fucked up...
I've had nice things done for me sporadically...wouldn't call them "romantic".
I've never had a man, plan a day around me...do something especially for me...aver his love for me in a special way...ever.
I've done romantic things for others though...so maybe that's it. The romantic dinner I had...was planned BY me, for my ex and I.
It was our 1st anniversary. I spent all day cleaning and cooking (we'd just moved in so I had a lot to do). I made him Turkey Wings, Homemade Mashed Potatoes, and Skillet corn...and a yellow cake w/chocolate frosting. I bought some Vanilla Haagen-Dazs...and made sure when he got home everything was ready and perfect. That particular night...I knew that Whitney Houston was having a concert on HBO from South Africa...and quite appropriately...she sang one of our favorite songs, "Lover for Life".
He enjoyed the meal and the dessert...and the concert...and me. LOL So yea...that's my romantic date. :)
(See how sometimes you're learning the perspective of things? I saw how I'd been thinking of being romanced instead of romancing and hadn't given thought to a moment that was indeed tender. Even if it was me who had to initiate it :)
I'm a lover AND a fighter...I like the folks most don't. I walk to the beat of a drummer....who isn't REALLY in the band, but got the best beats. I am big on love..."I see you" where you're at...hopefully this blog helps you to see me, as well. Either Love me...or leave me alone!
Having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. - a quote by Dinah Craik