If you had a choice between a love relationship and just sex [guaranteed]...which would you choose?
Right now, I don't know...
I really don't. I'm at a point in my life where I'd just kill (not literally) to have my carnal desires fulfilled and left alone. I ain't in the mood to have someone demanding of me a return of my affections all for them to get what they need and leave me wanting. It's a cynical way to view it, but it's been my experience the last few times I've been in a romantic entanglement.
What I miss about being "in love" is very simple. I miss the spooning at night, the tender kisses and the feeling of someone being concerned for me...needing to make sure I'm okay. I miss those things immensely...
Yet, I at times just need to be stroked right and put to sleep. Give me a kiss and go.
I'm torn. I am. The heart of me...the believer in love and relationships wants to be wrapped up and embraced daily by the nuances of love. I want to have breakfast with someone, plan a day of leisure, lie back in someone's arms and nap, read together...just BE together...even if we're just doing separate things in the same room...
The scorned part of me, just wants to be pleasured and have some go-to penile cord and that's it! Just get sexed down and then be free to go on about my business without the tethers of love's responsibility.
I think that a loveless sexual relationship with someone is lonely. With all of my need to be in control of blocking painful situations...so I won't end up alone nursing a broken heart, still garners loneliness. Once that person leaves and goes home...there is still no one to care. No one to whisper security into your soul...and that's something I can't quite get past.
I don't know...maybe for now...I'll just take the sex and reserve the right to change my mind at a later date. LOL
I'm a lover AND a fighter...I like the folks most don't. I walk to the beat of a drummer....who isn't REALLY in the band, but got the best beats. I am big on love..."I see you" where you're at...hopefully this blog helps you to see me, as well. Either Love me...or leave me alone!
Having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. - a quote by Dinah Craik