I have a question for the guys. This isn't a "male bashing" blog. No, we don't do that around here. We tell the truth about men and women alike. If it doesn't apply...don't apply it. If you can't use it...don't buy it.
Now...on to my question. Do some of you "ask" women to be your girlfriend because you really WANT her? Or do you ask her to "hold your seat"? Yea, I said it. LOL
Let me clarify. (Did you think I wouldn't?)
A guy asks a woman to be his woman. He dotes on her incessantly up UNTIL the point of officially asking her to be his. He's attentive, understanding, loving, chivalrous, all of that good romantic prelude that some men THINK we require for the courting. Not long after she relents and decides to stop playfully jogging in front of him (you know...for the chase)...it seems like he goes into comfort mode. Though he may still care for her, his idea of quality time dwindles from checking in several times daily and spending time with her with his head laid in her lap...to being inaccessible, "busy" and promising to see her...and failing epically. All of his openness and willingness to confide, turns into secrecy and an inability to consistently be what he was in the beginning. He prefers either the solitude of his own life...or the company of people she'll never meet.
So, Is this another episode of "The Representative"? Is this another case of a man doing it ALL to obtain and nothing to MAINTAIN? Now, remember my prefaced statement above. This is not a BASH...this is a question of motives and true intent. This is about how sometimes men (even though women do it, too) put their best foot forward and then eventually fall back for one reason or another. I personally, get tired of excusing these things with "he's busy", "he's afraid to commit", "he's got a hard time expressing his love", and things along that nature. If that was the case, then WHAT in the hell was that in the beginning? The too-good-to-be-true displays of affection, commitment and relentless pursuit now a wall of smoke too thick to see through to the other side. Is this a sign that he's tired? Or too lazy to continue the behavior he began with to keep the woman he longed for so badly once.
How fair is it to tell your woman, "I'm coming"...or "We will spend time soon, baby...I promise" like she's some thing to be penciled in at your whim? Is it that this kind of dude needs to know she's waiting, bated breath, moist thighs and twiddled thumbs...for him? Is it the security of making SURE she's hungry for her man so that he is shielded from his fear of rejection?
Okay, maybe I should've said I had questions...plural. Either way, I know a lot of women, including myself...who would pay to know the answers. Was all of that NEED to be with her the need to make sure that no other dude could slide into home? Is that it? Make her think she's his woman, so that her sex remains molded to his? I've seen it. He wants to make sure that no other dude can come along and woo his woman, sex her down, etc...while he decides if she's really what he wants...or to secure that one person he can go to when he's in need of emotional, physical, mental, spiritual affection and security. It sounds like that whole "options" thing...where men are given a plethora of choices whilst the women fight amongst themselves for the slim pickings? I don't know...I'm just trying to make sense of it all. MAYBE, he's the guy who in spite of finding someone he's in love with...has a complex about sharing too much of himself and retracts into his own space to keep from giving too much away. Maybe, he's just private and not used to being in a relationship where he's expected to go beyond his own comfort zone. Who knows?!
I just want to know...is it LOVE or is it LOCK DOWN???
I'm a lover AND a fighter...I like the folks most don't. I walk to the beat of a drummer....who isn't REALLY in the band, but got the best beats. I am big on love..."I see you" where you're at...hopefully this blog helps you to see me, as well. Either Love me...or leave me alone!
Having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. - a quote by Dinah Craik