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Yea, you've gotten that inbox message...


The one by the dude who is going through the back door to say hi.


"I just wanted to say...that pic is nice. Didn't want to get in trouble with the wife."


HUH? WTF? How would you get in trouble for just saying that my pic is nice? Clearly...I've got both on my page. A classmate and her husband. The thing is this, though...why contact me at all? Either YOU have a history of crossing the line with your "innocent compliments"...or your wife is psycho. Either way...stay the hell out of my inbox.


If you are "in a relationship", "married" or hell...even in an "open relationship"...don't inbox me. There's no cause to. Any communication that you might feel the need to have with me, should be done in the open. "Nice blog/note"..."Nice pic"..."Funny status"...any and all other communication is futile and unnecessary.


Wait...let's ask THIS question. Why do people feel the need to befriend the opposite sex ANYWAY? At the grown up stage...aren't we all friends with those we're friends with? Save for the few very cool associates to seep through our circle's walls...aren't we pretty much at 30-40 good with whom we're good with? I can understand finding SAME SEX friends...folks to hang out with. I'm confused though on why we NEED to make acquaintances with the opposite sex when we're already in relationships. WHY isn't your mate your friend? Why isn't he/she enough? Why confuse your situation with something that might not even be worth the trouble?


Are you bored?


Unhappy?


A whore...whether that be an emotional/mental/physical whore?


Yes...you CAN be an emotional or mental whore. You can be the kind of individual who needs to be loved on or mentally fucked. Either way...can't you do that with your man/woman? Why drag others into your uncertainty. If you're not uncertain and are happy...what is the reason for needing to converse with a single woman in her inbox? Why don't folks realize it just cuts down on the misunderstandings and drama to just MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!!!???


I'm not saying you can't have friends of the opposite sex. I'm saying that there shouldn't be anything to hide. I have a married friend, whom I speak with on the phone like a brother. We DM (Twitter) back and forth to check in and make sure we're okay...but, he's never gotten out of pocket. He has NO problem posting on my page on FB or Twitter that he loves me and that I'm beautiful. Why? It's because he has nothing to hide. If his wife were to see it, she'd know better than to assume the wrong thing. She TRUSTS her husband.


If you have to inbox me to say hi...already your intentions are dubious (hence your needing to hit me privately) so you already know you're wrong.


Maybe it's me...what do you all think?

4 scopers scoping:

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Hmmm...there could be a number of reasons he did this, but I'm leaning towards the same thoughts you mentioned...he's probably not getting the attention he needs/wants from his wife. This is a good example of how shady shit gets started and then everybody's azz out.

The God'ess said...

I could write a fucking book on this subject. I even got into "trouble" because of a back door message...you already know the story.

Shady niggums need to get a grip. That's all I'm saying.

Da_Kween said...

@CG~ Maybe he is missing some attention at home. Sometimes guys do just admire a pretty face or someone's "style", but it doesn't always need to be acted on.

@God'ess~ Yea...I know you know. You know "I" know. They need to get a grip AND a hold of some nuts, too.

ABoyd378 said...

There may be a possibility that you may not be too far off as far as the Whore aspect; more like an Attention Whore, in my opinion.

Great write, Kali! And you are 100% DEAD ON! When it comes to having friends of the Opposite Sex, NOTHING should be hidden. Sadly in this day and age, many people have a secret to hide (Whether it is to create an air of Mystery, or it is "Privileged Information"). If they were to be found out about their "Extra Curricular Activities" in the form of Inboxing or DM'ing by their Partner/Mate/Significant Other, for the sake of fishing for conversation and reactions to their advances, then in my opinion, they are a waste of time, effort and energy.

Thank you for the eye pleasing, thought provoking write!

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