Scopers


The Truth of Trust



A few weekends ago I had a ball. A friend of a friend who is now my friend, flew in from Detroit. She's been by association a cool person to e-know, but this particular weekend I had the pleasure of making her acquaintance. Diva, as she is known online came through to celebrate her birthday here in NY, so we (myself and our mutual friend) tried to make her feel as welcome as possible.



Between dinners, breakfast, drinks, the MAC store and picture taking...we had fun. What I liked the most was the ability for 3 totally different women with totally different backgrounds/upbringings...to be absolutely drama-free and trusting enough to forge a bond. Not only did I learn a lot about my new friend...I learned about myself as well. Nothing TOO bad *wink*...lol...just a reaffirming of some cool qualities that I wasn't sure about before. YEP...even the kween has stumbled. *gasp...I KNOW right?* No, for real...people tend to get an image of me in their head as the good girl...and though it is majorly true...it's not all I am. I try consciously everyday to be a better me. I try to be forthcoming and genuine in my relationships with others and pride myself on being honorable about intentions and behavior...yet I too, tend to walk a fine line of doing right and wrong. Talking to these two ladies (by the way, their names are Joy & Tracey)...made me realize that growing isn't just about moving forward...but it's about change. It's about transformation based on experience and application which equals wisdom. To have a meeting of the minds with people and know that you're being looked at for the person you are and not what they want you to be is a good feeling...and that feeling is amplified, when typical Internet horror stories are debunked and true friendships are formed over this thing affectionately called cyberspace. That weekend, we TRUSTED each other. Trust can be a hard thing to establish on the Internet.



I have had a few bad experiences. From people pretending to be someone they're not (figuratively and literally), to back-biting, dramatic females who aim to maim my reputation and character (without success)...to a few dating debacles. YET...in the four ACTIVE years of my e-life...I've managed to get WAY more positivity out of this place than not.



I found a forum for my writings...which helped to relieve me of a longtime fear to share my works. I found some of the best friends in the world. I found love. I found my voice...and at the same time...I didn't lose that thing about myself that a lot of people tend to lose interacting online...my humanity. The ladies and I discussed how we have often heard so many people refer to the Internet as nothing but a source of entertainment. That statement used to get on my nerves because regardless of how easily you may turn of your computer (if some of these folks ever do) these are PEOPLE on the other side. You're bound to be affected by something you've read. I have bonded emotionally and spiritually with people I've met and some I haven't...so, I know it to be true. The antiquated thinking, that Internet folks are crazy...is really a false sense of security. You can meet crazy face-to-face and never know it. I met crazy...and he never entered a chat room, social site or barely an email. I've met women, who have as much drama in their lives, if not more OFFLINE than anywhere else. The people online ARE the people offline...just hidden and more anonymous. Drama wearing screen names and danger wearing smiley faces. Remove the computer and you still have threats to your sanity, peace of mind and physical life. More than anything it's about learning how to trust your judgment and remembering that you too are flawed and have layers. No one is ever one thing 100% of the time. We fluctuate between the best of ourselves and the demons we're fighting against...but, what is the best feeling in the world aside from love...is knowing that you've learned enough about life to catch yourself on or offline...making better decisions when inviting people into your life. What is invaluable as an adult...is to know that you've learned to trust YOURSELF. I say it all of the time when speaking on trust, "The person who trusts no one cant be trusted. Someone who trusts no one, doesn't trust their own judgment...and therefore would sacrifice other's feelings and lives in order to protect self."  I stick by that...if you don't believe it...think on the person who betrayed you and ask yourself in retrospect how much that person REALLY opened up to YOU. How many things did you find out AFTER the fact as opposed to being within the relationship. How many times were you openly and/or passively accused of committing betrayals you hadn't...you will see.



That weekend, I met someone new...and it is a standing confirmation of what I've known for two years now...trusting others is as important as trusting yourself. If you don't...you'll miss out on new and exciting adventures that await a person willing to transform by way of life's experiences rather than be crippled by fears. I'd rather trust and be betrayed, than be alone in my fear to trust.



Thanks for the lovely weekend ladies!

6 scopers scoping:

:::the.kisser::: said...

that was an awesome and encouraging post. sometimes i think i'm too trusting of and with people, because i am a naturally open person, but as you said in the process you are able to meet some amazing people/friends.

.kisses.

Butterfly Effect said...

Awww...Kiwi, you got me in tears. That was one wonderful weekend. Showed me a lot of things about myself as well. And Diva, is one confident beautiful human being. It's so refreshing to put the physical body with the pics and font styles.

When you said...

"The person who trusts no one cant be trusted. Someone who trusts no one, doesn't trust their own judgment...and therefore would sacrifice other's feelings and lives in order to protect self."

Girl, I was up in here having CHURCH..PREACH girl. People hold everything back but they want you to walk out on a limb for them. Thank you so much for this blog. Loved it!!!!

Butterfly Effect said...

And another thing, I love that pic up there. I wonder who is the one with the mirror and lipstick in hand..LOL

Da_Kween said...

@ms.pen~ I think the benefits of trust far outweigh the drawbacks. I wouldn't short change myself for anything or anyone. I flow with my spirit and the moment that I stop...my blessings will, too.

@B.E.~ Yea, I believe in reciprocity...or else it isn't a relationship/friendship, it's a charity...one person giving to another. The other giving nothing but receiving. I'm glad you enjoyed the post....and I'm pretty sure the one with the mirror and lipstick is me. LOL

Anonymous said...

let me first say that this blog speaks volumes not only to who you are but what you are becoming...proud of you my k...

just know that giving one your trust invites to your world...much love...

Da_Kween said...

Why, thank you. I like to think that I'm getting better as I get older. That I'm growing. Love is who I am...so, thanks for seeing that.

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