For whatever reason...this year's birthday meant so much more to me than my birthday usually does. I couldn't put my finger on why it was I was "little girl antsy" about my upcoming day. From Thanksgiving on, I saw my birthday roll in on rapid waves of anticipation. Christmas came and went, with New Year's Day coming right behind it. As usual...on New Year's Day...I start counting.
My New Year's Eve and Day was unceremonious and very lonely. I was missing my grandmother...something horrible. I was coming into a resolve (that I'm still working on) about how 2010 manhandled my emotions. Maybe, when I was sitting in my room on New Year's Eve...drinking Chardonnay and feeling some kinda way...I was mourning 2010. Forever and ALWAYS, me and 2010 will have beef. It's just one of those years that came in and started immediately pushing me around. Testing my patience...my convictions...but, the truth is...
I knew it...
In early 2010, I "predicted" with a comment on someone's FB page...just what my year would be. There was a question about how do you say no to people, yadda yadda and my response was this (recalled loosely): "I am learning that you can't do everything for others while doing nothing for yourself. I feel a change in my spirit. I see a journey on the horizon and I can tell it's going to be a lonely trip. Those who love me will either, come along...be here when I return...or fall by the wayside..."
Many fell by the wayside. The fucked up part is that most left of their own free will. I didn't send people packing. The moment I began changing and polishing my spirit...the crowd divided and faded into the night.
So, yea...when this year came around, I needed something to feel good about. I needed a reason to celebrate my 38th year. I'm all about mastering the road I began traveling...and having this birthday began a whole new year for me...not the 1st.
My weekend was stellar. My girl, Joy came through on Saturday. We went to see "Black Swan" starring Natalie Portman & Mila Kunis. I loved it. It's that psycho-suspense thriller that had artistic depth. Joy says it weirded the shit out of her (snickering) LOL. We then went and shopped a little, made a pit-stop into the liquor store, picked up some Moscato and made a final stop to Mickey D's. We grabbed the grub, a taxi and once home, commenced to eating, drinking, laughing and being e-bad. hehehe. She was my gift as well as what she'd treated me to...and the next day, I made her breakfast: Salmon croquettes, scrambled eggs w/cheese (which she loved even though she doesn't like eggs) and home fries. She definitely help kick off the kween's birthday week.
|Isn't she gorgeous?|
When I got to work today, my co-worker had left on my desk a Happy Birthday note with a toasted blueberry muffin. It was SO good. I had to eat it with a fork and I treated it like it was birthday cake! I usually go to work with a ponytail and no makeup, but today I wore my hair down and had light eye shadow and lipstick. I received many compliments and lots of "Wow, you look good for 38" ;)
I came home, relaxed a little and then went out with mom to run a quick errand. When I came home, I had two gifts waiting for me. My friend got me a set of my fave bake ware and a huge bottle of Cinnamon Buns body wash from Philosophy! OMG...this shit smells like it came fresh out the oven. LOL. I'm going to get attacked by confused and hungry animals...and quite possibly (and hopefully) a nice man. lol
Thank you, God for the mercy. The beneficence. The grace. The love. The opportunity to live, learn, grow and begin again. Thank you, Mommy for having me on this day. Thank you to my friends and family who continue to love me and show me what love is made of.
Feliz Compleanos, to me :)