Hey Thick and Sexy...

...REALLY now?

Is this what it is? Men think it's okay to approach a woman like this?

Now wait {scratches chin}...before some of you say, "Damn, Kween...maybe he thought you were THICK and SEXY!" or "See, if he DIDN'T holla..." (go ahead and add other possible reactions). Yet, what I'm getting at isn't that the dude responsible for the blog title is wrong for being attracted to me, or getting the gumption to actually approach...but, his METHOD is what I question. Even though I am cool with being considered thick and sexy...I don't quite appreciate that being the first thing out of a man's mouth when he speaks to me for the first time.

If I said to a dude on first glance, "Hey Cute and Chubby" or "Hey Short and Sexy"...regardless of the underlying implication that I'm indeed allured by said MIGHT be considered a little on the disrespectful/hurtful side. Most people I know don't want to be called by names associated with body type. Even if a chick is shaped like a Coke call her that, to me is indicative of 1) lack of originality 2) superficiality and 3) lack of manners/decorum.  It's flat out classless.

So...when cat hit me with a message and said "Hey there, Thick and Sexy"...I wasn't flattered. I was turned off. I felt as if he didn't (as DeBarge so eloquently sung) "...dig deep into your train of thought...try to find something new...what worked so well for you before...for me just won't do..." Whatever happened to, "Hi, my name is..." or "Hello Pretty..." hell even THAT is better than thick and sexy. It's almost like saying to ME...that thick AND sexy are two different things...and with me, everything that I am is embodied in my sex[y]. From my mental the fluff in my the wit that makes me my spiritual "innocence" and my emotional tenderness. It's all a part of me...and I'M sexy...because I say so. I just don't want a dude more or less "cat-calling" me without even knowing if that's how I get down. Don't say, "Hey boo", "Hey Ma", etc. Boo and Ma and Baby are terms of endearment...and I feel they're better suited to someone whom you are already endeared to. 

A kween of my sort must be approached with the care and respect of an admired butterfly. Not so much to tread to tread with the truth in mind that this thing of beauty (inside and out) isn't to be roughed off or handled like any other.

*deleting message*

17 scopers scoping:

Wizzy Jr. said...

He must don't know first impressions mean errything.

Da_Kween said...

Clearly not, bro. And for what it's worth...dude is thick his damn self...AND he's attractive. I just don't like that kind of assumption that calling out the obvious is going to flatter me into responding to advances. *hmph*

Anonymous said...

I agree Kween. Being I am of an abundant physical stature myself, I don't appreciate cats calling me out like that. I think the worst one is, "Big girl", with the tone that lingers in their voice as if they have said something so alluring and flattering. I beg your pardon neanderthal? Will you begin to grunt and scratch and point at random things sounding them out too? Same goes for saying things like, "Hey Caramel, light-skinned, red-bone, chocolate tone, brownie," etc.etc. Let's try something like, mmmmmmm, "Hello, is it me your looking for?" (Thanks Lionel) It's time out for faux fatty flattery. Thanks for coming out, God bless, goodnight.


Halo Effect

Da_Kween said...

"Faux Fatty Flattery" EXACTLY!!!

It again proves a point I spoke on a long time ago about how a lot of men, who even though they may "like" bigger women...feel like most of us are desperate enough to fall for these types of come-on's. There are indeed heavy chicks who are pried open with this, but not all of us "need" the attention so badly that we'll allow for substandard courting.

Thanks for visiting again Halo! ;)

25champ said...

Thick and sexy is something that should be said once you and the other have established something and thats just something he says from time to time. Although it is meant to be a compliment I can see how it can be offensive.I wouldn't even want to acknowledge how sexy you are when I first meet you any ways that's so cliche'. Its all about presentation if you ask me. I guess I'm old

Da_Kween said...

I'm old-fashioned, too, Champ. I can appreciate a guy with some class and respect. It's SO cliche and it sucks that men his age (he looks well into his 30's) are even still speaking to women this way.

Marianne said...

Yikes, that is so rude! I think pick-up lines that involve any body part other than the eyes (but even that is cheesy) are rude and tacky. The guy is probably insecure, a confident man would have just walked to you and introduced himself.

Max Reddick said...

Okay, I'm feeling you on this one, Kween. Not long ago, I referred to my wife as stout. But I meant it as a compliment. Where I am from, "stout" is actually a compliment. Or so I thought. Now that I think of it, "stout" could perhaps be conceived of in the same way "thick and sexy" is.

But in truth, I did mean it as a compliment. However, there is always a certain slipperiness in language. What is meant and how it is taken are sometimes completely separate things. So, now when I want to compliment my wife, I do so in precise language.

For instance, if I am looking at her, and she looks particularly enticing, I might say, "Come here you sexy thing. Let me slob you down." Opps. Sorry. I know. TMI.

Luv ya, though. Keep doing your thing!

Da_Kween said...

@Marianne~ It was quite crass to me. He could've done better...if he wanted. A lot of women have been letting that slide I suppose.

@Max~ See, you attempted that on your WIFE and got the funny glance. So imagine not knowing me from a can of beans?

And um...ain't NUFFIN wrong with a lil slob between spouses ;)

Butterfly Effect said...

I feel you, My Sexy

Mahoganydymond said...

Well I haven't heard anything like that in a long time. I am glad too.. At the rate I am going, I might knock the crap out of the person saying such things to me.
I really wish people learn how to talk to one another. Especially when approaching a female.

Da_Kween said...

@BE~ You know what? I'm APPALLED!

@Mah~ Respect is a lost institution. A lot could be alleviated if people were better communicators.

rainwriter jones said...

I don't know, but the term "thick" back in my day meant you were dumb. (lol) I don't think I'd want to be called think, either. But I guess it was meant to be a term of endearment...I guess.

RiPPa said...

Did I ever tell you that you're beautiful?

Da_Kween said...

@Rainwriter~ Yes, thick did mean dumb. lmaoo *feeling thick* LOL

@Rippa~ Awww, you're so sweet. Gimme a hug!

Reggie said...

Too soon for that huh?!? He's supposed to wait a while before saying something like that.....or my personal favorite "don't nobody want a bone but a dog".

Da_Kween said...

LOL @ Reggie. I just thought his approach indeed WAS a little premature. He doesn't know me to speak to me like a "thing"...he'd have to be a little more acquainted before making me his "thing". ;) lmao

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