Scopers


They Made Me Do It!!



GEEEEEZ!


All I've been hearing is this damn Swizz/Mashonda/Alicia Keys shit. Facebook. Twitter. STFU. It's getting to the point of blatant insanity and this cannot and will not be good for ANY children involved when they're able to read and understand.


Okay, let's get it out there. I uphold the sanctity of marriage. I want to be married in my lifetime (and I'm okay if I don't) but, I'm going to be honest, because I don't want to be a hypocrite for the sake of voicing my opinion. In this lifetime, I've had feelings for a married dude. An emotional affair so to speak. He's gone now...and guess what, YES...it took ME to send HIM "back home". If I'd let him have his way...I'd be ass up face down right now in some hotel off from the public eye. LMAO No. Truthfully...we cared about each other. I cared SO much for him and my own souls, that I told him I couldn't any longer pray for love to come to me in the form of possible marriage...while I entertained his "love"  for me. To me, it was hypocritical to expect God to honor my desires while actively dishonoring this man's vows.


NOW...having said that...so no one can call me full of shit, lol...let's get to the meat of the situation. 


Swizz and Mashonda were married. Took vows to one another.  God doesn't do threesome marriages where some anonymous third party has equal responsibility in a couple's marriage. Call Alicia home wrecker all you want...Swizz wrecked his own home. You can't "steal" someone's man. You can't "wreck" someone's home. You can't "keep" a man or woman for that matter. People make choices, they stay, they honor their vows, promises and love regardless of issues, time and circumstance. Mashonda should've written SWIZZ' ass a public letter. Or how about keep that shit to yourself. Be two adults and keep your marital woes between the two of you. If I was Alicia Keys, I wouldn't have responded either. Not out of shame or embarrassment (and yes, she should be) but, because I'm not the other party in a God ordained union. I'm not obligated to uphold their vows. Alicia wasn't either. What ALICIA was responsible for, was upholding her image. Her self-respect. Her dignity as a woman and an artist/public figure. You can't do dirt when you're a celebrity and think no one will get wind of it. Alas, people take the risk for less than love everyday without considering the consequences. I personally think Mashonda might have been on some get back shit. (duh, right?) Well, I said that because I see how Mashonda has taken the demure role of being diplomatic and tactful, but how tactful was it to bring your business to the public eye, starring A. Keys as the "whore"? Hmmm, woman whose career is non-existent vs. "Superwoman"...sounds like a mud-slinging campaign. After all, Mrs. Beats DID say that she once looked up to Alicia and admired her music. THIS shit here? Was way too much drama. If for no one but her kids...she should've thought twice before doing that. That's just my opinion.


All of the backlash surrounding Alicia Keys is sickening to me. Not because I condone home-wrecking...because I don't. I released myself from my situation, because I couldn't sleep at night. It didn't sit right in my spirit. I never intended to feel him like I did...and truthfully, I wasn't even in love. He supplied a need emotionally that I wasn't getting elsewhere...yet, it was wrong. I take full accountability. So, my point here is that regardless of whether Alicia meant for it to happen or not. Is sorry or not...she has to live with herself. No one has a right to judge. It's unfair that she's taken the brunt of the ugly attacks, while Swizz looks like the "holy grail" of this debacle. He's the prize. He's coasting and not being put square on the blame like he should. NO woman can take a man from home unless he's already got one foot out the door and even then, it's by choice. Men have a gang of kids...and don't get the Erykah Badu treatment. Men go through MANY women...and don't get the Halle Berry special. Women are always accused of not being able to keep their men or handle their business and that shit is getting tiresome. Men have so many options that they get to hop from chick to chick and no one stops them at the gate with, "Why can't you stay with one?". When will these men be held responsible for their part in the failing of relationships and families. It's not cool at all...


For me...I don't get wrapped up in these people's lives, which is why I don't write sensationalist blogs about celebrities. I'm an artist and I respect artistry. I listen to music, I watch movies, I read books and poetry. I'm not concerned about peeping through Alicia's window to see if she scratches her ass or digs in her nose. I don't need all that.


Folks need to learn to mind their business and save their judgment for their OWN shit....you know? The stuff you might actually be ABLE to change?


You know, it's mighty funny that when Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's affair was publicized, Angelina got SUPPORT for snagging "World's Most Handsome Actor" according to People. She was looked at in a wonderful, glowing light as Brad adopted her children as his own. Then she was glorified when they married and had three children of their own together. In the meantime, it was Jennifer Aniston who was barbecued in the spotlight for "not being able to give Brad a family"...and for being "too busy" to be a wife. Why is it that our culture is so quick to crucify our women for these things?


~waving hand and walking off~

11 scopers scoping:

Carmennc said...

Preach! I'm so glad that you spoke on Halle Berry. I was telling somebody that I could be married if I settled and lowered my standards to the scum and low-lifes of the earth. I support myself and don't need to be married to validate myself or split bills. If I don't like a man, I'm gone! There's nothing wrong with me or Halle because we 'can't keep a man'. If they are not with the program and I see a better man, I release that dude from his duties. I'm onto the next one. Life is too short for me to be smelling the fart of a guy that I lowered my standard for to say I have a man.

rainwriter jones said...

In my opinion, having an emotional affair would be much more difficult than handling a physical one. Sex is physical, but love can break you in two! We'd be better off screwing 'em than lovin' 'em. (LMBAO)

So much goes on within a marriage. Folks grow tired, bored, etc., and need a little spice in their lives. Then comes the "vixen" (I don't know what you call a man). She/he is that boosts for the married man/woman; that thing that is "missing."

I don't support nor put down folks in these threesome situations where there is a third wheel in a marriage. But it's the way it is handled by all parties. Not everyone is opposed to having that third person (believe it or not). I don't know whether it's Western culture which makes it taboo to have another person on the side, or not. (LOL)

Just depends on the individuals: and where their heads (and hands) are at!

Wizzy Jr. said...

YAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! I'm SICK of this bullshit.

Hell, folks talkin' bout what's goin' on in the Marriage and what Alicia, Swizz and Mashonda was doin' like they was all up in the marriage all them years. Most of em' talkin' is folks who was probably cheated on they DAMN self. I've seen this stuff all my life. Hell, my Auntie and Uncle was separated for damn near 20 years and RECENTLY got divorced. All the while, they dated other people. Uncle even got remarried.

I say, God bless em' and live and let live. I got my own damn life to worry bout than worryin' bout what Celebes do. We seem to forget..THEY HUMAN, TOO!

THANK YOU, KWEENI!!! THANK YA SOOOO MUCH FOR THIS!! You done put yo' feet, arms and errything else in this one. *Applause* ALL HAIL KWEEN KIWI!...and I'm TIIIIEEED.

Da_Kween said...

@Carmen~ That whole Halle Berry thing is so most MEN can deflect from what is wrong with OTHER men. They stick together in their man way. LOL

I am a fighter and am loyal. I stick in there with someone I LOVE. But, even HE can get the heave ho if I feel he's not giving me what I deserve...and I don't ask for much. Well, to some it's a WHOLE lot to be truthful, loyal and to follow through on plans...but, I digress. LOL THANK YOU for the love!!

@Rain~ I do believe emotional affairs are worse. That's why my heart was heavy. I had to do away with the guilt and the fear that if I didn't get right in my spirit, I'd pay for my actions in more than one way. I'm tryna scale DOWN my list of things God'll be checking off on Judgment Day. LOL

I'm sure there ARE folks who like a third, a fourth and some swinging in between, and that's all good if they all agree on such an arrangement. No matter, there's only TWO at the altar...and anything that affects their union is on them. I'm sure folks get bored and what not, but like you said...it's the WAY things are handled.

Um, I vote for the opposite of "vixen" to be "viper" LMAO

@Wizzy~ See that's why you my bro. I don't give a HOT BALD MONKEY'S ASS what these folks do with their lives. I wish them well, health, and such...but, I don't need to know HALF of the stuff they post. I purchase a People twice a year...for the fashion editions.

I just feel that as adults, all should be held accountable for their parts. Even those who "seem" innocent, because inaction is as much to blame as action can be.

Alovelydai said...

"Men have a gang of kids...and don't get the Erykah Badu treatment. Men go through MANY women...and don't get the Halle Berry special."

And the congregation said...

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Well, alrighty now, Deaconess Kiwi! This right here..."God doesn't do threesome marriages" is a powerFULL statement. Full of the truth and reality many have seemed to drop by the wayside for some titillating tidbits of a stranger's life. I don't get it either, you broke this down with skill and truth.

Da_Kween said...

@Lovelydai~ *swaying and humming* lol

@CG~ lmao @ "Deaconess Kiwi". Hilarious. I'm just giving it to em the way I see it. I think relationships, TRUTH, and respect (esp. for self and other people's lives and choices) is undervalued. People are so into instant gratification, judgmental perspective and living vicariously through others (which is a nice way of saying all up in someone else's business b/c THEIR life sucks).

There's always a part of the story outsiders never get. You can NEVER know the entirety of any situation if you're not in it...and even then, when there are other parties...you still can come away clueless. I wish people would think about that before casting stones.

Katlynne LaSalle said...

I agree with you about reserving judgment. People who look at this situation should hope to learn from it and avoid making the same tragic mistake. They should hope that when temptation comes knocking, as it almost surely will, they have the strength to leave the door unanswered. Love your take on this Kween!!

Da_Kween said...

@Kat~ Right, learn from it...not use it as a way to persecute and magnify someone's faults. We've all committed some sin in our lifetime...and guess what? God doesn't see them in degrees...a sin is a sin is a sin...so, whether you're lying or you're an adulterer...you're "going to hell".

Butterfly Effect said...

Sorry I didn't post a comment. But, I think we all fall into these issues all the time in PRIVATE though. And, it's a shame this had to play out in the public eye. I really feel for all involved, including the kids. Just wish there was a way for them to play this one out privately. Because the public will always pick sides and bash them. It's almost like they have to. Don't know why though.

Da_Kween said...

BE, it's like people feel because something gets aired on television or published in print that their "almighty" opinion is required. Mind your business. SIN IS SIN! I hate when people pick and choose wrongs and rights. Until your slate is CLEAN, hush up! lol

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