10 Signs You're Cyber-Logged

There are very few people who AREN'T online. My grandma isn't...but, my other grandmother was...so there's a 50% chance your grandparents are online. lol

There are a few of my peeps who I WISH had a Facebook page...but, don't. I don't know why they didn't get the memo, but perhaps they're onto something. I wish sometimes that I didn't crave the crack so much and had avoided the Facebook vortex.

Facebook/Internet addicts are true crackheads. I'm talking shakes, ashy lips and notions of stealing for their next hit. I ain't saying I'm addicted...let's just say that I exhibit some of the 10 symptoms of this "cyber-logged" list.

What is Cyber-Logged? Well it's like water logged. Inundated to the point of complete saturation, leaving the frame of "something" weak and worn. This isn't your TYPICAL list of crack symptoms. We all know what it means to be addicted to SOME part of the e-world. Most of us sleep with our cells in our hands. That vibration when the phone rings is like an e-gasm to most  folks. I just thought I'd share some of my current observations and list 'em.

10 Signs You're Cyber-Logged aka Signs You Need to Have a Seat!

10. Refresh is your friend. Yea, buddy...you refresh every 4.3 seconds on Facebook, tumblr, etc...because you're hungry for the next update. I see folks show up as SOON as I post. I be like...where in the MATRIX hell did they come from?

9. Your statuses/updates are successions of the same event. Let me give you an example:

"Oh snap, my fave movie is on!!" 19 minutes ago


"I love this part...it always makes me cry" 17 minutes ago


"Nooooo man...don't leave her!" just now

...yea...how are we watching TV intently if we're "statusing"? Why do we feel the need to pull our friends into the fray as well? Why ESPECIALLY do we do this...when watching WITH people? Are the people in the room NOT sufficient enough to discuss the movie/program with? *SMH*

8. You've got 50-11 pages for no reason. *raises hand* GUILTY! It's not MY damn fault they make it so easy to create a new page. Or a blog. Or an email. Shit...at least I'm not creating whole LIVES like SOME folks...lmao

7. You e-stalk...Now, look. Let's not get sensitive sir/ma'am! You do it or you've done it. ESPECIALLY if your siggy is online. "Oh what the fuck is all THAT about?". Next thing you know you're combing the person's list, mutual friends, and eventually...you lay in wait to see what color Shug gone paint the wall next. *don't deny it mofo...I seentcha*

6. Your browser has 10 tabs open with Facebook, tumblr, Youtube, Twitter, your blog,  your email, and a combo of news, shopping, and porn. *again...don't lie dude* LOLOL

5. Your chat is open 24/7. Whether it's your BBM, your LiveProfile, your YahooIM, etc...there's a way for your friends to contact you at all times...and you RESPOND...sometimes...in your SLEEP!! Go to bed damnit. LOL

4. When your FB notifications pops up, you see it no matter what you're doing in another tab. 0)___0)  *whistling*
4a. You answer those things with lightening speed...the hell you doing? Hitting refresh?

3. You've got some sort of insomnia related to your need to know what's happening on your page. For me...I've got issues that directly relate to my muse's inability to duly inspire at a NORMAL time of day. She wakes me up and as a sub-symptom of my wakefulness...I end up perusing the damnedest things while "breaking" from writing. I've discovered many an annoying, hurtful or informative thing while up at night writing. Sometimes...it's A-OK to lie the fuck down...

2. You take pics of EVERYTHING and post it. Your new outfit. Hair. A pic of you taking a pic of you in the mirror so you can show your new phone. EVERYTHING you do gets chronicled in the "Mobile Uploads" album. I just ask that you save us from the pics of your cat vomiting, your kid pooping or your man/woman sleeping. Dang...can I have some mystery in the e-relationship?

MY #1 sign that YO/MY ass just MAY be cyber-logged? That when I post this blog in a few minutes (approx. 1:50-ish am)...You will see it, read it, pretend you have NONE of the above signs...but, comment anyway.

GO TO BED DAMNIT!!!! #notestoself